And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
Anonymous asked: how do you give a bj
get a bible and start reading it out loud i promise u will blow him away with the word of the lord
ya but have u ever seen brown eyes when they’re in the sun??? they literally turn gold like screw those ass blue and green motherfuckers gettin all the love
excuse you, my eyes are blue and in the sun they get a steely gray glint just around the pupil and they look pretty damn awesome.
If you take a young man and woman and they both tell a stranger that they work in the same restaurant, it’s very likely that they will assume that the woman is the waitress, and the young man a cook.
But I thought a woman’s place was in the kitchen? Not when she’s being paid for it. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize the implication of this. A woman’s place is one of servitude.
this fucking hit me like a fucking train